Peace of mind

Today I learned that my CA 125 test was negative. That means that there is no indication that I have ovarian cancer. But because I have breast cancer and the two are cancers are linked, I will continue to be screened for both. I also learned that Friday will be my last day of radiation. It was scheduled to end on Tuesday, May 31st but my radiation oncologist thought I could end on Friday and not come back after the Memorial Day holiday. She will adjust my treatment doses so that I get what I need this week. Four more days.

My real peace of mind came today from a discussion I had with my radiation oncologist. She is a well-respected doctor and has been highly recommended by many. So I have been interested in her opinion about my chemotherapy treatment but have been afraid to ask her. Since I’ve had two different opinions (one to continue with chemo and one to stop), I was scared she would say I should continue. I do not want to continue and do not think my body could even tolerate the treatment. But I still second-guess myself and have had some dark moments contemplating whether or not I cut myself short on treatment. This oncologist said I did not. She agreed that I should not have received Taxol, the drug I refused. Like others, she said the benefit would be so small and the toxicity could be so great. She said she would not have done it herself. And she said if I do have a recurrence of cancer, it will not be because I didn’t receive Taxol. This brings me great peace.

I hope to gain more peace of mind with my therapy — which begins tomorrow.

Jacki Donaldson